K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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