so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
