bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
