I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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