i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
