This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I believe in your delicious
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
