i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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