Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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