I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
