you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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