Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize