I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
