Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
