it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
