Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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