I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
