After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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