omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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