By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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