i was born a porn star she said
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
