I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
