my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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