Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
