RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Of course I have a pirate flag
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
