Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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