..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
