Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
