Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
