How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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