Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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