He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
