dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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