why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize