Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
