I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
