Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
