I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How external is "for external use only"?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
