If i could tip my vagina, i would.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
