Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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