You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
