Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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