I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
