I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
