My room smells like vodka and shame
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
