Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
