does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
