I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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