I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
