i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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