New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
