Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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