my room smells like sperm. sweet.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
