I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
