im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
