i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
