i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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