Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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