Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
