Screwed.edu
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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